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On Interacting with Submissives...

...From an experienced Domme to new Dominants.

So many hopeful and beginner Dommes come to Me to ask how I go about interacting with My submissives. I have so much to say on this topic (and every other in this space) that I've designed a month-long master class to educate new Dominants on the ins and outs of the industry. The first session will begin in April and that Protégé class will receive a 50% discount as a thank you for their trust and eagerness. I'll only be accepting 15 individuals into the class at a time to ensure I can give My full attention to each of My Protégés. To get on the waitlist, go to and enter your name to the form in The Violent Divines section. In the meantime, I wanted to briefly highlight a few helpful tips that every Domme should be aware of when interacting with subs.

First and foremost, I do not approach submissives. In My opinion, a Dominant shouldn't reach out to a potential submissive unless there is some extremely significant unifying factor that you'd like to mention and discuss with the submsisive immediately. Idk if that would be a thing for you but I don't know your life. Personally, I do not reach out to potential subs for several reasons. The first being, it puts them in a position of power right from the start, which is the exact opposite of what a Domme should want. Second, I'm bombarded with hundreds of messages to sift through per day and absolutely do not have the time to seek anyone out Myself. Third, getting submissives to reach out to you on a regular basis is so much easier than you think.

Content creation and creative writing are the cornerstone of My career. I've done both as a full-time employee as well as an independent creator. All I've done to build this facet of My career is shift My skillsets to different platforms. So instead of just creating content for Instagram and TikTok, I now post more explicit and varied content that still aligns with My brand on sites like Twitter, FetLife, Tryst, SextPanther, and others to entice a new kind of audience. My best advice for this is to be original, be yourself, and stay on-brand. Use relevant hashtags and keep as consistent as you possibly can with posting and engagement. When the submissives do inevitably reach out, there is a fairly simple formula to follow.

Let Me break it down for you. The first thing you need to do is check whatever profile they messaged you from. Verify their age if you can from that, but if not, be sure to double-check that they are above 18. I personally don't like to work with submissives as clients unless they're at least 25 since I've found they're more sure of their kinks/limits and have worked through any shame or insecurities around the subject more often as well. I'm a bit more flexible with lifestyle subs, but it all depends on the connection and usefulness of the pet.

Next, you need to immediately determine why they're contacting you and how they intend on serving you. If they're not directly answering your questions or are making inquiries that are clearly going to require a kinky response, I'd recommend shutting it down. Be careful not to give in to bratty subs who may attempt to provoke you in hopes of receiving complimentary degradation or humiliation. Keep it short and sweet until they've either provided tribute or directly scheduled a session and paid a deposit. Do not waste your time for anyone. Good, determined submissives will continue to reach out and ask for your time and attention even if you've ignored them or required compensation that they couldn't initially provide.

Following your determination of how you will be using your submissive, it's best to move the conversation to a more direct form of contact. Whether you have a ghost number for kinky things, only interact with subs via SextPanther, or don't mind texting; be sure to convert your good leads to personal contacts ASAP to ensure you can always keep in touch and help them reach their full subby potential. I like to ask subs to send Me their name and a selfie so I can easily add their contact to My address book with details of where we first connected, their kinks, limits, and any other defining notes. Your subs will eventually all sort of blur together if you're not diligent with this kind of upkeep and you want to ensure you make them feel as useful and cherished as the good little pets that they are (or fucking better be).

Lastly, make sure to get full written consent before going into any kind of playtime; whether that be virtual, verbal, physical, or psychological. Until then, keep things professional and simple. The only exceptions (in My book) being aggressive fucks who reach out simply to harass and degrade Dommes. I meet that with darker and more direct aggression before simply blocking and not allowing for a response. Do not engage with trolls if you can avoid it. Like My mother always said, "when you touch shit, it stinks more."

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