...From the perspective of one full-time Lifestyle Domme to another.
Training a new slave of any kind is not easy work. However, when you're allowing someone from the internet whom you don't know well (or at all) into your home to be around all of your favorite people, pets, and things... you need to be especially meticulous. It requires a lot of prior preparation, teaching, positive (and negative) reinforcement, as well as a genuine connection with the submissive. I was recently asked by a friend and fellow Domme how to get the most out of Her domestic pet. I loved answering Her question and I also liked My extensive answer. I've since added to it as well, so I felt it could be helpful to publish for everyone to see. I'd love to hear your thoughts and opinions both as fellow Dominants who are interested in domestic servitude as well as submissives looking to serve Dominants in their homes. Enjoy.
First things first, I always take time to get to know My subs as well as possible before our session and during our first meeting. You should at the very least get a legal name, working phone number/email address, and verified age prior to your real-time together. I also have both a non-disclosure agreement (NDA) and a full consent form to complete that I had drawn up by a law-exec submissive of Mine. I don't always feel a consent form is especially necessary, like in the case of a short-term humiliation submissive. However, even one-off ballbusting submissives are REQUIRED to sign the consent form with at least one witness present (whether that be another slave of Mine or another Goddess/Master depending on the sub's comfort). Following that; everything from what they do for work, their cultural background, experience in the lifestyle, major kinks and limits, as well as relationships they've had with Dominants prior are aspects I'm always most interested to hear about.
Knowing what a submissive does for work (or knowing if they don't work) will help you determine if they can afford your services long-term or if you might be willing to work out something more sustainable for a ltr if you connect with them well. I think it's fair to say that cultural background and childhood experiences typically influences a submissive's (or literally anyone's) deeper-rooted feelings towards the lifestyle. Knowing these prior experiences in the lifestyle as well as prior D/s relationships will be extremely crucial in determining whether or not this is someone you want to spend more time with. And let them get to know you as well. I typically mention where I'm from, My age, My own cultural background, how I got into the lifestyle, as well as a reminder of My professional experience and expertise. I'll also allow plenty of time for them to ask questions they may have as well. Even if they say they don't right away, guarantee that if you don't have them ball gagged, they'll be asking some questions eventually. When a submissive is genuinely attached to you as a person while also being incredibly attracted to you, and sexually frustrated, it's going to be that much easier to make them happily obey anything you command of them.
I always try to at least sort of get myself ready for My domestic subs, even if I'm just wearing a sexy lounge outfit. I'll always also be carrying either My riding crop, whip, or cane to ensure I can point out any mistakes or things I want done from a reasonable distance. Also because I know it makes Me seem more intimidating. It makes Me feel exponentially powerful, so I totally get it. When My subs come over, I'll have them remove their shoes at My front door and replace them with either one of My heels (or their own pair if they can't fit into My size-11s) around the house. If they're unable to walk in heels, that's something you can easily train and work on. If they're proving to be too useless or slow in the heels over time, they'll need to go barefoot/in stockings so as not to waste My time and to spare My ears from the incessant shuffling of some idiot on My hardwood-floor. Regardless of whether or not they're in heels, I'm usually considerably taller than My submissives. Still, I always wear my heeled combat boots to keep myself as physically elevated above them as possible during our time together.
Creating simple rules early-on for subs around your expected gifts, greetings, slave wardrobe, chores, speaking privileges, etc. is also key. If they already have your expectations and rules in mind when they come to you, not only will things go much more smoothly, but if they don't -- you'll have the perfect reason to enact an appropriate punishment. Just as when training any new pet, positive and negative reinforcement (within the bounds of their kinks and limits) is crucial.
When My sub is doing well, I make sure to smile a lot, tell them what a good little boy/girl/pet they're being and give them plenty of physical reassurances that My affection and pride in them is swelling by the second. Little gestures like smiling and gazing into their eyes while telling them what a good boy/girl/pet they're being... playing with their hair or scratching their chin and tracing your fingers along the curve of their spine and down to their little asses. Eye contact, smiling, and a sexy, measured tone, coupled with subtle physical touch will go a long way.
When they're not doing what you ask or performing a task poorly, a sharp and loud tone with continuous, cold eye contact will be the place to start. If that proves to be ineffective, harsher physical contact (again -- in accordance with their boundaries) is going to be extremely pleasurable. I use my crop, whip, or cane as much as I know they can reasonably sustain while I correct their behavior throughout the session. I always have my subs collared when serving Me. If they're especially forgetful, lazy, misbehaving, or bratty, I'll be sure to keep them on a much tighter leash. You can also start requiring even more basic rules around the house (like raising their hand to speak or never looking into your eyes unless rewarded the honor of doing so) in order to ensure that they can successfully obey you in some way at all -- even if it is the most useless and unnecessary of commands you come up with.
If they're actually brats, and specifically looking for a tamer, that's a different story entirely. While I've been frequented many times for brat taming sessions, boundaries and safe words are extremely important to me in those scenarios above all. My bpd rage coupled with the severe cptsd I've sustained at the hands of men, I can get very scary very quickly. All it takes is a male who simply has the audacity and motherfucking nerve to push Me too far. I like to avoid that whenever possible, tbh. My vocal chords, blood pressure, mental health, and clean record just can't and shouldn't have to take it.
So... what else? Did I miss anything? Point it out politely if that's the case.
I'm very interested to see your thoughts overall, though. I'm by no means an expert, but this system has been working well to keep Me safe, satisfied, and sustained. What have your domestic servitude experiences been like?